just give me a little time please.

Ever since the blogger madness weekend ended, I've been trying to catch up, but it's been a huge FAIL. I can't complain (I'm a busy woman!), but I'm seriously hoping for some downtime this weekend to catch up on, welp, life. The boring part: bills, laundry, cleaning. The fun part: blogs, pictures, relaxing. Because when it comes down to it I'm a homebody.

Don't get me wrong. I love, love, love to go out and have fun with friends, but I also love, love, love sleep, time to collect my thoughts and just having time to myself, otherwise known as Molly Days. I guess I love trying to figure out the balance of it all, which I have a feeling is a never ending practice. I'm okay with that though.

It pleases me that I can go out dancing (if jumpingupanddownandflailingaround like I do when I dance in my room counts as dancing) until 5 in the morning, yet also have a Saturday night to myself and be perfectly content.

She's a dance, dance, dance, dance dancing machine...Jackson 5 anyone?
Okay. I'll stop. For now.

So after my big jam-packed weekend, I ended up riding my bike to the Taste of Chicago to meet my dad and aunt. Fun family times. Then today I picked up an impromptu beach volleyball game where I rode my bike again to get there while cringing in pain as my butt bones (that's the technical term in case you didn't know) were absolutely killing me from the previous day's ride. I can't help it that I have big bones. No seriously. I do. My sister even calls them dinosaur bones. I mean does your spine bust into the bus seat that you have to sit all prim and proper in order not to be in pain?

Wait. What? Where the hell was I going with this?

Well suffice it to say, I'm keeping busy. That was my point. And I'm ready for some downtime.

But it's going to have to wait a few more days because tomorrow I have a first date with a guy I've never met. I'm kinda excited? I guess? No I am. I just hope all goes well, meaning there's decent conversation and only a few awkward silences. Eeeek! We'll see. And then Thursday = volleyball. And then it's the 4th of July weekend. No plans yet, so we'll see if I can reward myself with a Molly Day.

Here's hoping! Unless something awesome pops up and then it'll start all over again or I guess keep going since it never ended? The thought of that exhausts me, but that's cool. I can roll with it. I think.

bloggy buddies and more.

Like so many others who attended the big 20sb meetup, I'm not even sure where to begin. Thursday - Sunday was jam-packed with meeting new people, making new friendships and drinking. Lots of drinking. Which of course helps to solidify all those new friendships.

But really, what's amazing to me is that I didn't know this world existing at the beginning of 2009. I started blogging on a whim just a few short months ago. I was looking for an outlet for my words, my writing, my need to get things on "paper". I don't even know why I started; I just did.

And now? Now I just finished this non-stop weekend of being a tourist in my own city, learning tons about these amazing people and dancing. Lots of dancing!

So yeah yeah. You get it. I'm just repeating what so many already know: Bloggers Rock. Hard.

It may take me a day or two to even remember all that took place in such a relatively short amount of time. What I do know now though is that I want more. More blogger friends, more meet-ups, more connections. More dancing, more laughing, more talking.

Who knows where this part of my life will take me?
But I am definitely ready for it.

slacker sunday: the bean.

My first time at the Bean at Millenium Park with bloggy buddies from the big 20sb Meetup (to be hashed out in a later post). Awesomeness all around.

weekend in photos even though it's wednesday.

FRIDAY

Saw awesome band post honeymoon at the hideout.

pretty lights on the ceiling.

bathroom graffiti greeting me while i pee.

gas station outside with floods.

SATURDAY

Saw something splashing in the water when I went for a walk. Lo and behold, a crayfish...or...something.

read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for book club.
(Entertaining, dark, mystery!)

Went to Lake Michigan to read and picnic in the shade.

My view looking forward.

Ground-level view to the right.

SUNDAY, also Father's Day

Got to sister's car to see mother nature's beating to the windshield.
Guess we'll take the train...

Lilies in my dad's garden.

the grand mouse finale.
mom found one hiding in the grill like this:

and then it was scared and trying to scurry out like this:


Poor lil' guy. It was so cute. The best was my mom putting on gloves to get it out. And she succeeded. And then it crawled right back up into the grill, which of course led to me having to bang on the bottom of the grill with a broomstick so it wouldn't climb back up again while my mom started the grill.

Any excitement going on with you?

slacker sunday: dad loves plants

I've never once doubted how much my dad loves me.
He's supports me unconditionally.
He loves to garden.
We've gone to Cubs games together for over 20 years,
and I love him a lot.

there's a stormfront coming.

Stormy Day, Stormy Mind, Stormy Night.

nino makes me smile.

I am stressed out people. And right now it's not about relationships. It's about work. I need it. Badly. I found out this week that I cannot get anymore hours right now, and I think it kinda broke me and my hope.

The thing that scares me is that I've gotten to that "show me the money" point. And it's not because I want to buy something extravagant (ahem...iphone please...but that's literally a dream at this point). It's because I want to pay off my debt. Because guess what? It just keeps collecting. And I'm tired of owing people...errr...parents money. I'm tired of juggling money that isn't even there. I want to be self-sufficient.

So the hunt continues and in a fuller force. I know it'll work out. I have to believe that, and I do, but this inbetween struggle time is breaking me down. It's been over a year since I've had a FT job, and yes, while I did quit my last job to travel and I wasn't laid off, I didn't know this whole economy thing was going to happen. It's made this finding a new job in my new field of librarianship a tad bit harder.

So in light of my stress, I feel it's also time to show you the little (literally) things I love in my apartment. If something so small can make me happy, just imagine what a job will do!

(Apologies for the blurriness. Did I mention I need a new camera too?)

Nino, my keychain buddy. Yes I named him.


Lil' hen.


Lil hen in her roost, la Tour Eiffel.


Koosh ball!

Wind up crab my sister got me after one nipped my finger.

Do you have any little things that brighten your day?

why should they?

I guess noone will ever understand it.
And why should they?

I don't pretend to love people
because they're dating a family member,
or a friend. I love them for who they are.
It's hard for me to realize that
others are not the same.

I'm not expecting jump up and down joy.
But is the past really a moot point?
I guess so. I don't have that switch though.
When I care about people, it's usually lasting.

Maybe I'm thinking too much.
That wouldn't be a first.

It's a surreal life anyways.

Because...

I'm still the happy girl.
I show emotion.
Jump up and down when I see someone
I know, used to know or love. I get giddy.
My huge smile gets plastered across
my face. I ask questions.
I talk. I hug. I kiss.

I respect people
who respect me.
I laugh.
I reminisce.

It's all I know.
It hurts when I'm not
warmly received.
But I know better.
I know who still
treats me the same.
The ones who kinda get it.
The ones who just don't care
about the past and tend to
think about the future.
The ones who know that
he wants to be a part of my
life. And I his.

That's all that matters right now.
Life is hard enough.
I try not to worry.
But when faced with people
treating you differently,
it's hard to ignore.
But I must.

Because when it comes down to it,
they'll never get it anyways.
And why should they?

rain check.

It's amazing how much the heart can hold.

Ani DiFranco said it best in her song Rain Check:
My heart is just a muscle...simply put it's sore.

Have you ever lived moments where time stopped?
Where you feel like nothing is going on around you?

I have. And I do.

All these baby steps to get to a place that I'm not sure even exists.

Time will tell, time will tell.
Isn't that what they all say?

round up, wrap up.

First of all, hello to new readers! Feel free to email me, tweet me, comment me or all of the above! I love to hear from people, so have at it!

Secondly. Wait. I didn't have a secondly. So, um, let's get to that post I came here to write...

My weekend. While it wasn't crazy by any means, it definitely was busy. I spent Saturday morning proctoring an ACT test for high school students. That means I had to get up at 5:45am, head to a high school and stare at kids. While entertaining, it definitely makes for a long morning considering I was there until 2pm. At one point I almost fell in the garbage can. Seriously. I was bustling around the room, passing out a test or collecting one and I just about stepped in the garbage can. Instead I tripped, laughed and said something dumb like "ah, me and my obstacle course."

One good thing that came out of it though is in the past I would've been extremely embarrassed over this. Did I mention that I hate having attention on me? I do. But, this time I actually felt yes, a little silly, but fine about it. It was just 16 and 17 year olds anyways, right?

That night it took me 2 hours to get home and park. (It should take under a hour.) Needless to say, I was ready to go to RibFest, one of the many street festivals in Chicago. Met some friends there. Saw my Starbucks barista crush. (No. Not one of the crushes.) Drooled over him and his tattoos that I didn't know about because he keeps them hidden. (Now he can be my mysterious barista crush.) Made it home by 11:30 to a party below my feet. Stomped on the floor. Went to bed.

And Sunday. Sunday brought me to Oz Park to meet up with some BlogHer bloggers:

(Photo from The Random Memorandum)

It was great to put some faces with sites. And while I am not able to make it to the BlogHer conference this year, I might try to go to some of the events around that time. Either way, I'm really enjoying meeting new people in this whole blogging community that I didn't even know existed at the beginning of this year. Pretty cool, if you ask me.

slacker sunday: sun!

The sun is out!
And so am I!

crushes.

I have a crush. (Or two.)

Crushes can be so much fun. The anticipation, the excitement, the feeling.
But on the other hand, they can be frustrating.

I don't want to turn into the girl who is a spazz. (Well. At least not in public.) Or the girl who obsesses. I want to be the girl who has crushes but forgets about them until they come around again.

I believe if a guy is interested in you, he'll ask you out. But I'm also on a new kick of being bold and direct with guys because really I just want to date and hang out with different people. I don't want to overthink. (I realize writing this defeats that goal.) I want to be a cool customer. I have a lot to offer.

I figure if I continue to keep busy and meet more people, at some point I'll meet a guy who's into me and vice versa. I know I have to put some effort into it, but I'm not making it a goal, per se. If I want to ask a guy out for a drink, I will. Or if I'd rather feel my way around the situation I'll do that too. That's what's kinda nice. I don't have to do the same thing with every guy I meet. I can go with the flow. It makes it easier when I don't expect much. This used to be hard for me because I generally have high expectations of people, but in the beginning, I'm all for forgetting all the rules and being a little more spontaneous. I'm hoping it takes me to the right place. I kinda know it will.

how sweet that was.

A year ago today I was in Aix-en-Provence.

Swimming in this pool at my French family's house.

Enjoying the hot weather, lazy afternoons and the traditional town
that could be walked across in 15 minutes.

I miss it. I miss the carefree summer. I miss France. I miss living in a different country all on my own. I miss the frustrations. I miss the life.

The carefree life.

Did I mention that?

tagged.

Tagged by the lovely Ondine. Perfect timing since I'm having a don't want to think too much day, and I haven't done a tag before, so here you go:

Where I Blog: At my messy home desk

What I'm wearing: thin

Last thing I read: The Portable Henry Rollins

Do I nap a lot: I wish

Last person I hugged: my sister

Current obsession/addiction: Sookie Stackhouse

Dinner: cheese and crackers

Last thing I bought: coffee

Listening to right now: silence

A superpower: invisibility please

Favourite weather and why: sun for the freckles

Time I usually get up: after snoozing for at least 30 min.

Most challenging goal right now: life

Something to the person who tagged me: you need to make s'mores. stat!

Favourite item of clothing: old BEARS sweatshirt

Favourite pair of shoes I go back to over and over again: chucks

One thing I can't live without: music

Bedtime: midnight or later

Wake up anywhere it would be: Ireland

If you feel like taking a day off too, go for it.

slacker sunday: baby animals.

Baby animals will always make me smile. I don't even really like geese, pretty much because they're everywhere, but these little goslings were too cute; I had to take a picture.

beach volleyball.

I had my first beach volleyball game of the summer tonight. Boy do I need to work on my serve. It's been a couple of years since I've played and it definitely showed in that department. I felt bad, but I should get back into the swing of it soon.

The league I play with just puts you on a team if you sign up individually, which I did, and I'm happy to say that everyone seems nice and normal. I've been on some interesting teams before. It's always a bit of a gamble. But we won. Yay! So that's a good start I guess.

I would've liked to go out for a drink after but noone wanted to go tonight. Hopefully when the weather warms up, it'll just seem like a better idea. Or maybe I'll just have to start going to the bars by myself. Hey. It wouldn't be a first. Haha.

So on my way home I decide to lay in some grass. Kinda random, but I didn't feel like going inside yet, so I sat in the park and it was lovely. The pictures below I took with my phone, so they aren't the best quality, but I couldn't be happier with them because they capture what I like to do. Look up, lay around, enjoy the present and do what I feel like doing.




After volleyball, I went to the grocery store and bought stuff for s'mores. What? Yeah. I don't know where that came from but I'm pretty excited to go eat them after I take shower. And then I think I'll read. And that to me is a good night.

queen.

Thanks to Simply. Love. Life. And Everything Happens for a Reason for the awesome, um. Awe-summ award. Woo-hoo! I hope I can live up to it because I feel like I’m constantly trying to catch up. But that’s life, right?

So.

Official Rules: List 7 awesome things about myself. Pass along to 7 awesome bloggers.
Molly’s Rules: I’m lazy and not doing the second part, but y’all know I love you, right? Right? Because I think all bloggers are AWE-SUMMM! But back to me. I’m awesome because:

1. When I broke my collar bone playing baseball at the tender age of 3, I went to Chucky Cheese with a sling and got stuck in the balls.
2. I laugh hard and I laugh loud.
3. I rented an apartment in Paris for one week last summer by myself.
4. I trust my intuition always.
5. I constantly walk into doorways.
6. I love unconditionally.
7. I eat cheese every day.

Now you tell me. Why are you awesome? Because you are!

breathe in...breathe out

(Breathe in)

Life is...
wonderful, sad, frustrating, amazing, unfair, hard, beautiful, humbling, special, terrifying, lovely, crazy...

My current life is confusing, full of hope, difficult, yet rewarding, fulfilling...

My past life was in the 1950s.

My future life is unknown.

My next life could be anything.

Lives are exciting no matter what;
I am thankful for mine.

(Breathe out)