Not my forever. Just someone to be close to.August 30, 2009
August 26, 2009
eye for an eye.
My day started off with an angry guy throwing something large enough to shatter a window of the bus I was riding on. A minute before that he yelled vulgarities at the bus driver from the sidewalk because he had gotten drenched by the bus driving by him.
The rage was palpable.
Everyone had to get off the bus and wait for the next one.
What would you have done if you got drenched by a bus driving by you? Personally, I'm sure I'd swear and complain and feel sorry for myself. But what is it about these people that take it to the next level? People who can't let stuff roll off their back. Sure. Yell at the bus as it drives away. That I can understand.
But running to catch up with the bus to yell unnecessary obscenities at the driver when he opens his door and then searching for something to throw at the bus and then actually throwing it. That takes a lot of anger. What scares me is that so many people are filled with it.
Yes, I'm an idealist. That does not mean I'm a naive Pollyanna. I know that anger is and will always be part of the world. I believe it's necessary. I don't believe it's necessary to take it out on others, but isn't that what the majority of people do?
It got me thinking about a couple things, including righteousness and responsibility.
Now I'm just generalizing, but people in America think everything should go their way and if it doesn't: screw the proverbial you. I understand that this is wrapped up in the ideals of America that yes, you can be successful doing what you want to do, but when did it turn into I deserve anything I want? Where is the room for growing, learning and not letting greed take over?
Another concern of mine is that many people who don't get what they want do anything they can to get it. I realize this can go many ways, both positive and negative, but what I'm thinking now is when do people realize that they need to be responsible for themselves?
Everyone's told from day one that life is not fair, but I think people still struggle with that concept, me included, from time to time. It's such a self-centered way to think though. Why should it be fair? How are people supposed to learn and grow if everything goes their way?
The sad thing is that anger really just comes from hurt. The scary part is that this righteousness couples all too well with it. Is the problem that so many people are never taught how to be responsible with their anger?
I know I'm more sensitive than others, but...
This anger, it's exhausting. And this violence, too transparent.
I'm so sick of this eye for an eye mentality. It's getting us nowhere. It never has.
The rage was palpable.
Everyone had to get off the bus and wait for the next one.
What would you have done if you got drenched by a bus driving by you? Personally, I'm sure I'd swear and complain and feel sorry for myself. But what is it about these people that take it to the next level? People who can't let stuff roll off their back. Sure. Yell at the bus as it drives away. That I can understand.
But running to catch up with the bus to yell unnecessary obscenities at the driver when he opens his door and then searching for something to throw at the bus and then actually throwing it. That takes a lot of anger. What scares me is that so many people are filled with it.
Yes, I'm an idealist. That does not mean I'm a naive Pollyanna. I know that anger is and will always be part of the world. I believe it's necessary. I don't believe it's necessary to take it out on others, but isn't that what the majority of people do?
It got me thinking about a couple things, including righteousness and responsibility.
Now I'm just generalizing, but people in America think everything should go their way and if it doesn't: screw the proverbial you. I understand that this is wrapped up in the ideals of America that yes, you can be successful doing what you want to do, but when did it turn into I deserve anything I want? Where is the room for growing, learning and not letting greed take over?
Another concern of mine is that many people who don't get what they want do anything they can to get it. I realize this can go many ways, both positive and negative, but what I'm thinking now is when do people realize that they need to be responsible for themselves?
Everyone's told from day one that life is not fair, but I think people still struggle with that concept, me included, from time to time. It's such a self-centered way to think though. Why should it be fair? How are people supposed to learn and grow if everything goes their way?
The sad thing is that anger really just comes from hurt. The scary part is that this righteousness couples all too well with it. Is the problem that so many people are never taught how to be responsible with their anger?
I know I'm more sensitive than others, but...
This anger, it's exhausting. And this violence, too transparent.
I'm so sick of this eye for an eye mentality. It's getting us nowhere. It never has.
August 23, 2009
slacker sunday: 3 years ago.
3 years ago.
Still so much to learn.
Looking back does that,
makes you realize
just how much
you've moved forward.
Still so much to learn.
Looking back does that,
makes you realize
just how much
you've moved forward.
August 21, 2009
unicorn.
My mom visited me this week and hid this jem in my room. I don't want to know how much else from my childhood is hidden in my parent's house. Actually, I do know, and maybe that's what scares me!
New plan: declutter not just my apartment, but my entire childhood. That shouldn't take long, right?
ps - I kinda actually love this unicorn.
pps - Yes, that's my problem.
August 19, 2009
OCD.
Every night before I go to bed, I check all the knobs on my oven to make sure they are all off. Seriously; it's an issue. Sometimes I check multiple times. I do this even on days I haven't used the oven. I don't even remember when it began.
Maybe it's due to the fact that I once left my parent's oven on all weekend while we were all out of town and when we returned my mom and sister tried to cover for me saying it was so hot because it was in the sun. True story. By the way. My dad's no fool.
Or maybe it's because when I was younger my recurring dream was always about my house burning down. Or I used to think a lot about what I would do if that were to happen. What would I take?
Today I work in a fire related field, albeit part-time, but still.
Fire seduces me.
Fireplace in the winter.
Fire pit in the fall.
Maybe it's its ruthless, take all way.
Or is it just another way to clean the slate,
Start from ashes.
I hope I never find out.
Maybe it's due to the fact that I once left my parent's oven on all weekend while we were all out of town and when we returned my mom and sister tried to cover for me saying it was so hot because it was in the sun. True story. By the way. My dad's no fool.
Or maybe it's because when I was younger my recurring dream was always about my house burning down. Or I used to think a lot about what I would do if that were to happen. What would I take?
Today I work in a fire related field, albeit part-time, but still.
Fire seduces me.
Fireplace in the winter.
Fire pit in the fall.
Maybe it's its ruthless, take all way.
Or is it just another way to clean the slate,
Start from ashes.
I hope I never find out.
August 18, 2009
evolution screams equality.
You know what I love? Evolution. I love when people evolve themselves. I love when people are looking at the bigger picture. And I love when people are selfless. Rachel is all of these things and she needs/wants/would love some help spreading the word of equality. It's something I believe in as well. Since I can't responsibly afford to donate money right now, I wanted to donate some space. Wishing you lots of support Rachel. You rock!
***Rachel's post from August 10, 2009***
This is the most important post I have ever written.
I am asking for your help.
I need the help of my regulars, my lurkers, my scanners, my haters.
I need you to help me spread the word.
As many of you know I am heavily involved in the March on DC for LGBTQ equal federal rights. I am involved in the Chicago chapter of Join The Impact, but this March goes further than the borders of Chicagoland. There are LGBTQ needing help, needing support all over the country. This March is for them.
We are not marching for gay marriage, we are not marching to hate on the Bible, we are marching to get federal rights for all of America's citizens. We are marching so that a person who fights and risks their lives for their country should be able to carry a picture of their partner in the uniform. We are marching so that when a gay man gets beaten and tied to a fence post to die it is considered a hate crime. We are marching so that a good teacher will not lose her job because she loves another woman. We are marching so that a senior citizen can honor the wishes of their partner of 50 years when they get seriously ill and be allowed to stay by their bedside to provide comfort.
Cleve Jones is hoping to have every district in the country represented at Washington DC. To do that we need to get people there. How can you help?
*if you live in the Chicago area or are willing to travel to Chicago you can join me! For $100 (given to JTI Chicago) you can get on a bus Saturday night, march on DC Sunday, be back home early Monday morning. I'm going! We can watch movies, talk, take a million pictures, do some good! What a way to start your fall!
*if you can't make it but want to help you can donate! See that beautiful yellow paypal button? For the price of a beer or a coffee you can help someone that can't afford to go, someone that desperately needs to find some support. This money is NOT for me, all money will go to JTI Chicago which they put towards getting people on buses.
*if you can't spare the funds you can help spread the word! Post this post on your blog. Reference this if you write a post in your own words. Link to it. Tweet about it (#mominreallifefundraiser). Tumblr it. Facebook it. Digg or Reddit it. I don't care what, just keep it going. Be honest, how much work does it take? Let those know out there that you want to help!
Help me help them.
Please.
"People never forget that helping hand especially when times are tough."
Catherine Pulsifer
***Rachel's post from August 10, 2009***
This is the most important post I have ever written.
I am asking for your help.
I need the help of my regulars, my lurkers, my scanners, my haters.
I need you to help me spread the word.
As many of you know I am heavily involved in the March on DC for LGBTQ equal federal rights. I am involved in the Chicago chapter of Join The Impact, but this March goes further than the borders of Chicagoland. There are LGBTQ needing help, needing support all over the country. This March is for them.
We are not marching for gay marriage, we are not marching to hate on the Bible, we are marching to get federal rights for all of America's citizens. We are marching so that a person who fights and risks their lives for their country should be able to carry a picture of their partner in the uniform. We are marching so that when a gay man gets beaten and tied to a fence post to die it is considered a hate crime. We are marching so that a good teacher will not lose her job because she loves another woman. We are marching so that a senior citizen can honor the wishes of their partner of 50 years when they get seriously ill and be allowed to stay by their bedside to provide comfort.
Cleve Jones is hoping to have every district in the country represented at Washington DC. To do that we need to get people there. How can you help?
*if you live in the Chicago area or are willing to travel to Chicago you can join me! For $100 (given to JTI Chicago) you can get on a bus Saturday night, march on DC Sunday, be back home early Monday morning. I'm going! We can watch movies, talk, take a million pictures, do some good! What a way to start your fall!
*if you can't make it but want to help you can donate! See that beautiful yellow paypal button? For the price of a beer or a coffee you can help someone that can't afford to go, someone that desperately needs to find some support. This money is NOT for me, all money will go to JTI Chicago which they put towards getting people on buses.
*if you can't spare the funds you can help spread the word! Post this post on your blog. Reference this if you write a post in your own words. Link to it. Tweet about it (#mominreallifefundraiser). Tumblr it. Facebook it. Digg or Reddit it. I don't care what, just keep it going. Be honest, how much work does it take? Let those know out there that you want to help!
Help me help them.
Please.
"People never forget that helping hand especially when times are tough."
Catherine Pulsifer
August 17, 2009
August 16, 2009
August 12, 2009
pearl.
So, I'm two years late to the game. Why didn't any of you tell me about this? Oh, that's right. I wasn't even in this world. BUT. I'm glad my sister showed me this tonight because I needed a laugh! Enjoy!
August 9, 2009
August 7, 2009
stillness can be beautiful.
Stillness is the foundation ofI don't know where I found this. Maybe in an email. Maybe on a website. All I know is that I liked it enough to copy it to my desktop. Sometimes I need this reminder to stop. Stop worrying, stop thinking, stop wondering. Be still. In a world where everyone's striving to their best, it's nice to remember that stillness can sometimes be my best.
Understanding and insight.
Stillness is strength.
The practice of stopping and calming
Contains in it the practice of insight.
We don’t have to go anywhere to obtain the truth.
We need only to be still and things will
Reveal themselves in the still
Water of our heart.
Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh
August 6, 2009
save ferris.
Tonight John Hughes died. It's sad. Death surrounds us always, yet it's always still such a surprise, isn't it?
But this isn't about that directly. It's more about what John Hughes brought to many people's lives: humor in the moment and then nostalgia. Lots of nostalgia. For me, nostalgia from when I was a little girl.
My mom used to take me to Blockbuster (remember those days!?) to get a movie some weekends. And what was one of my favorite movies? You got it: Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Not like, oh yeah, that's a funny movie. More like an obsession. I LOVED that movie. Still do. I would get it every. single. time. My mom finally asked me (because she was probably sick of watching it) why I chose it every time. My answer: because I know it's funny.
I was six when that movie came out, and I still love it whole-heartedly. What is it about movies you watched during your childhood? They just hold a special place in your life, don't they? At least for me, they do.
There'll never be another Ferris.
There'll never be another John Hughes.
His life was too short, but boy did he have a good run.
What's your favorite Hughes movie?
But this isn't about that directly. It's more about what John Hughes brought to many people's lives: humor in the moment and then nostalgia. Lots of nostalgia. For me, nostalgia from when I was a little girl.
My mom used to take me to Blockbuster (remember those days!?) to get a movie some weekends. And what was one of my favorite movies? You got it: Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Not like, oh yeah, that's a funny movie. More like an obsession. I LOVED that movie. Still do. I would get it every. single. time. My mom finally asked me (because she was probably sick of watching it) why I chose it every time. My answer: because I know it's funny.
I was six when that movie came out, and I still love it whole-heartedly. What is it about movies you watched during your childhood? They just hold a special place in your life, don't they? At least for me, they do.
There'll never be another Ferris.
There'll never be another John Hughes.
His life was too short, but boy did he have a good run.
What's your favorite Hughes movie?
August 4, 2009
it's that kind of night.
Brownie in a mug.
For that I-need-something-sweet-but-don't-have-anything-sweet in the house type of night.
Ingredients
4 Tbsp flour
4 Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp cocoa
Dash of salt
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
2 Tbsp water
1/4 tsp vanilla
Instructions
Whisk dry ingredients in large coffee mug. Add oil, water and vanilla. Mix thoroughly. Microwave on high for 1 - 1.5 minutes. It should not be quite set in the center. Cool a couple of minutes.
ENJOY!
Warning: Extremely rich. You may be uncomfortably full if you eat the whole thing. Of course this does not stop me from doing it time and again. Or else I share with my sister. If she's lucky!
For that I-need-something-sweet-but-don't-have-anything-sweet in the house type of night.
Ingredients
4 Tbsp flour
4 Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp cocoa
Dash of salt
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
2 Tbsp water
1/4 tsp vanilla
Instructions
Whisk dry ingredients in large coffee mug. Add oil, water and vanilla. Mix thoroughly. Microwave on high for 1 - 1.5 minutes. It should not be quite set in the center. Cool a couple of minutes.
ENJOY!
Warning: Extremely rich. You may be uncomfortably full if you eat the whole thing. Of course this does not stop me from doing it time and again. Or else I share with my sister. If she's lucky!
it's a love hate thing.
I hate noone.
I love people.
I hate that my feelings sometimes coincide with how a guy makes me feel.
I love the giddiness of a crush.
I hate getting caught in the rain on my way to work.
I love walking home in the rain.
I hate getting up early in the morning.
I love staying up super late.
I hate when I compare my life to other's.
I love hearing other people's stories.
I hate when I look at my body in bits and pieces rather than a whole.
I love working out.
I hate thinking there's something wrong with me.
I love trusting my intuition.
I hate when girls are catty.
I love making new friends.
I hate despair.
I love hope.
I hate hate.
I love love.
What about you?
August 3, 2009
karaoke queen.
Guess what I did this weekend?
KARAOKE!
This is a big deal. You see, I realized today that I've never done karaoke by myself. Yes, I've sung with others in groups, but I've never been one to sing alone in front of people. (Minus my solo for high school graduation, but whatevs...)
The truth is, I hate having attention on me. Not individual attention. I like that. Who doesn't? But having a group of people looking at me makes me feel very uncomfortable even if I'm with friends. What can I say? I have some issues to iron out.
But, this weekend, things changed. I found a song and jumped up to do karaoke with no poking or prodding from other people, and honestly, that freedom felt really good. (Well, I also did get the high score. It was a home karaoke set.) But more than my score, it just felt so good to not worry about what others were thinking. I just sang my little heart out to the Beach Boys and had fun with it.
Baby steps, yes, but definitely moving forward.
Watch out. I already know what I want to sing next time.
Tom Jones.
KARAOKE!
This is a big deal. You see, I realized today that I've never done karaoke by myself. Yes, I've sung with others in groups, but I've never been one to sing alone in front of people. (Minus my solo for high school graduation, but whatevs...)
The truth is, I hate having attention on me. Not individual attention. I like that. Who doesn't? But having a group of people looking at me makes me feel very uncomfortable even if I'm with friends. What can I say? I have some issues to iron out.
But, this weekend, things changed. I found a song and jumped up to do karaoke with no poking or prodding from other people, and honestly, that freedom felt really good. (Well, I also did get the high score. It was a home karaoke set.) But more than my score, it just felt so good to not worry about what others were thinking. I just sang my little heart out to the Beach Boys and had fun with it.
Baby steps, yes, but definitely moving forward.
Watch out. I already know what I want to sing next time.
Tom Jones.
August 2, 2009
slacker sunday: hope
Feeling hopeful.
About work. About life. About play.
Couldn't ask for much more right now.
About work. About life. About play.
Couldn't ask for much more right now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)