Core story.

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December 31: Core story. What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O'Neill)

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Looking through all my posts this past month, I am aware of how much appreciation I have for employment and friends and family. But, what I really think is at the core of me is being a good person and being kind to others. I'm not looking to change the world on a mass scale, and I'm okay with that. I'm looking to change the world with my daily actions and appreciations.

(With this post I have completed one of my goals for blogging every day for a month. Thank you reverb10!)

Gift.

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December 30: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root)

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Stability was given to me in 2010. The memory of feeling weight lift from my life will always be a reminder of how blessed I truly am.

Defining moment.

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December 29: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

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In January, I became fully employed. That definitely was a defining moment for the year. It gave me some hope, some strength and some relief. It may not be the end of where I'd like to be, but it surely is the beginning.

Achieve.

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December 28: Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

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The thing I most want to achieve in 2011 is getting hired FT at a public library. When this happens I will feel excited, nervous, happy, scared, content and who knows what else!

I'm pretty sure I feel those feelings everyday. My mantra will definitely be "I will get hired."

*fingers crossed*

Ordinary Joy.

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December 27: Ordinary joy. Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year? (Author: Brene Brown)

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I love having time to myself especially in the morning on the weekends. There's something about making coffee, eating a bagel and reading a book or magazine where I feel completely relaxed. This year I was able to do this a few times, and every time was just as good as the other.

Relaxing may seems ordinary, but it is simply divine.

Food.

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December 26: Soul food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? (Author:Elise Marie Collins)

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This year I tried some foods that I had not had before which included Korean BBQ and Vietnamese sandwiches. I will never forget the anticipation of trying something new and the satisfaction of enjoying it.

I also began cooking more this year, and I'm finding that it's something I like to do. This is a first for me. I'm excited at the possibility of making and enjoying my own food creations in the coming year.

Photo.

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December 25: Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best

captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share

the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you. (Author: Tracey Clark)

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My bf took this picture of me while we where in Wisconsin this past Fall. I love how it encapsulates my happiness when surrounded by trees and the simple life. I find myself most comfortable when I'm playing in open areas enjoying the world around me. It's a wonderful way to live.

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it. It's truly a wonderful time of year.

Everything's OK.

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December 24: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)

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When I talk to my mom and dad, I know everything's going to be okay.

When I have a roof over my head, I know everything's going to be okay.

When I cuddle with the bf, I know everything's going to be okay.

When I get paid, I know everything's going to be okay.

When I go to yoga, I know everything's going to be okay.

As long as I have my health, support from friends and family and shelter and food, I know it's going to be okay.

I don't have to wait until next year to incorporate that into my life.

I'm grateful for it everyday.

Name.

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December 23: New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author: Becca Wilcott)

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Honestly, I'm a little confused by this reflection, and I don't think I would ever introduce myself with another name. But maybe that's because I love my name. So I'm going to skip this one. I am a Molly and wouldn't want to be anyone else.

Travel.

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December 22: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

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2010 was a year of Las Vegas which is odd since it's not someplace I travel to often. But this year I went with my mom and sister for one weekend and one of my best friends for the other. Both were fantastic; I always have a good time with friends and family.

I'm hoping that 2011 will bring even more travel to more places. I could name a million places I'd like to go, but I really don't know where I'll be going. But I am looking forward to it.

Future

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December 21: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

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Future Molly: Do not worry about me.

Present Molly: Why?

Future Molly: Because your now is what matters. I may know what you went through in 2011, but there's no need to share it. You need to live it to become me.

Present Molly: What?

Future Molly: You need to live the now to become the future. I'm not going to get in the way of that.

Avoidance.

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December 20: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jack Nickell)

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There are a billion things I don't do every year due to lack of time. There are also a billion things I do each year. I may be exaggerating a tad. But when it comes to not following through with something I wanted to do, I would have to say I wish I had made the time to ride my bike the full length of the Lake Michigan trail. It's 18.5 miles, and I'd like to do a full route of it.

I will do it next year. Yes. Yes, I will.
If I remember to make the time, of course.

Healing

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December 19: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leoni Allan)

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Every day, I'm healing.
Every day, I'm evolving.

From what exactly? Life.

Life is hard.
And enjoyable.
And mysterious.
And complicated.
And wonderful.

I believe 2011 will be no,
and all,
different than 2010.

Try.

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December 18: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it? (Author:Kaileen Elise)

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2011: I want to try sewing. I plan on taking a class at an art center by me.

2010: I wanted to try a hip hop dance class, and I did. What happened? I remembered how much I loved dancing and how much I missed it. Such a good feeling to do something you haven't done awhile and still love it.

Lessons.

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December 17: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

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I've learned this year that I project feelings I have about myself onto others close to me.

Moving forward: I plan on being more aware of these actions and keeping them to a minimum while continuing to figure out the real issue at hand.

Perspective.

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December 16: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

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Wow. Ummm. I don't know. So maybe this means that a gradual change is occurring? It's possible right?

My perspective on the world changes everyday. Whether it's by the people around me or something I hear on the news, I'm constantly learning about the world and all that I never even knew existed in it.

Yeah, I'm going to stick with the gradual change. Looking forward to my new perspectives on the horizon.

5 minutes

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December 15: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

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I literally set the timer and wrote what came to mind. No particular order. What amazed me the most is how much happens in one year, and I only scratched the surface.

Molly's 5 minutes of 2010:

Las Vegas Trip with mom and sister. Las Vegas trip to celebrate our 30's with Karen. Turning 30. Loving 30. Weekend in Wisconsin with the bf. The palpable weight lifted off my shoulders upon finding out I got a FT job. Celebrating my sister's engagement. Long talks with the bf. Goofing off with the bf. Playing with Jersey (bf's dog). Going to sporting events including NU football, Sox and Cubs Games. Ticker tape parade when the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup. 4th of July beach picnic. Playing catch with a football outside. Riding my bike across the city. Using my bike as transportation. Publishing my first article in a national magazine. Moving into a new neighborhood. Loving my apartment. Loving living alone. Yoga in Millennium Park.

I think I might have to try this exercise again at some point. I like how the memories that came to mind first are those of my family and friends, as well as events and enjoying life. That sounds exactly right.

Appreciate.

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December 14: Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

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The one thing I've come to appreciate the most this year is being employed. I thank my stars nearly ever day for it, and I try to keep my complaining to a minimum.

The job I really want?
There is time.
It will happen.
And I will be so grateful for it, too.

Action.

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December 13: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

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How do you qualify, or quantify even, being a good person? While, granted, good is relative and broad, it doesn't necessarily include aspirations past one's self. But my ideas of what I aspire to are more personal. I'm not looking to build a brand. A company. A community. As selfish as it sounds, and perfectly may be, I aspire to evolve as a person. I aspire to not judge others. I aspire to be a loving daughter, friend, girlfriend, eventual wife and mom. I aspire to travel and learn about different cultures. I aspire to sharing the wealth and necessity of public libraries. I aspire to do as I please.

My next step? Living every day with that in mind.

I've battled myself over the definition of success and purpose. Why do only big ideas seem important to so many? What about the person who cooks a meal for someone who lost a loved one? What about the person who sends a thinking of you card to someone who needs it? What about the person who smiles at someone who is rude? What about the person who prefers the intimacy of a one-on-one conversation to a group hang out?

The ideas I want to make happen? I'm making them happen every day. I'm challenging myself to be that person. I do not feel the need to take on the world. Taking on my world and those whose paths I cross is enough for me.

I'm tired of thinking that that's not enough. I'm tired of extroversion. I'm tired of comparing myself to others. I'm tired of people asking why I'm quiet. I'm tired of people assuming talking is better than listening. I'm tired of feeling I don't do enough.

So what am I doing to make this happen?

I smile at everyone I pass.
I call myself out when I recognize myself judging.
I save money to travel.
I hunt for more jobs.
The specifics are not all that important.

I accept that I am ever-changing.
I challenge myself to evolve as person.
That idea happens every day.

ME.

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December 12: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

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This one's easy: the month of September.

As some of you know I challenged myself to go to yoga 4 times/ week to see its influence on myself, body and mind. It didn't surprise me to find out that I felt amazing that month. It didn't mean problems went away or that it was easy by any means, but it grounded me. I felt at peace with myself. I loved that feeling.

Since then I haven't kept up the same amount of practice, and I notice the differences every day.

Yoga practice makes me alive and present. I not only know it, but I feel it. It's a wonderful feeling. One I look forward to, while working towards it every day.

Things.

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December 11: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?(Author: Sam Davidson)

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When I first read this prompt, I thought of all the "things" (which were more like feelings) that I'd like to get rid of in 2011. But thinking about it more, made me realize that it is not realistic to say I'm going to completely get rid of anger or negativity. I actually think it's healthy to have a balance of good and bad feelings. But don't get me wrong. I do think battling negative thoughts or improving one's self is something worth striving towards. I think it's a great way to keep your eye on the prize, as they say.

This prompt personally spoke to me in another way. For the last few months, I've been obsessed with de-cluttering my life. I LOVE getting rid of stuff that I don't need. I've been taking a closer look at how and what I consume, and while I think I do pretty well about purchasing what I need rather than what I want (admittedly a fine line at times), I still like nice things.

But that's exactly the problem. What "things" do I really need? I guess it's all relative to one's life, but I'm going to try to cut back even more on surrounding myself with stuff and using money to have experiences in life. It probably helps that I'm an anomaly when it comes to shopping since I dislike it.

So for 2011. I'm getting rid of this:

1. Using credit cards (#1 Goal!)
2. Saved school work (if I haven't referenced it yet...)
3. Old cell phones (why do I have these?)
4. Old computers (but I'm still backing up work...)
5. Framed artwork (I haven't hung or even like it that much anymore)
6. Books (I have many that are just okay...)
7. Jewelry (This might be hard, but I need to do some "weeding")
8. All the crap still at my parent's house (a tad overwhelming, but I'd like to make a dent)
9. Blankets (I know I have a bunch I haven't used in quite awhile)
10. Clothes/Coats (This is a constant)
11. Debt! (coinciding with number one. I will continue to pay off my debt.)

This will take time, but I plan on setting aside a day to do a thorough de-cluttering at the beginning of the year. Then I plan on doing a little every day. I'd like to make a chart that I can check off each day if I got rid of something. I think if I get in a routine, that will make it easier.

I know that when I eliminate all of these things I will feel so much lighter because every time I go through a purge of similar sorts, I feel SO GOOD.

I'm excited to continue opening my eyes to my own consumerism and the role it plays in the world.

wise.

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December 10: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

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The wisest decision I made this year is one I make every day: trusting my gut. It's playing out as it should, with a fulfilling honesty I strive towards every day. With myself. With others. With nature. And within.

Party.

I'm participating in REVERB10. Are you?

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December 9: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

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My 30th Birthday!

I LOVED turning 30!

My closest friends and family, paired with a music playlist I created for the party of my favorite songs from my twenties, plus an awesome cake from a local bakery equaled the best party of the year. Just sayin'.

Different.

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December 8: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

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In a world of FB, twitter and blogs, I think the majority of people work to distinguish what makes them different from others. But isn’t it a given that we’re all different?

We’re born to different families. We’re given different names. Our siblings or lack thereof are different. Our friends are different.

Our difference is inherent by our birth.

I could say I don’t care about “keeping up with the Jones’” but there are definitely others who feel the same way.

I could say I prefer staying at home to going out, but I know there are others who agree as well.

I could also say I take time to think before speaking, which has turned me into a good listener, but many others are in the same boat, I'm sure.

Differences are enriching. They enable people to learn and evolve and engage in ways they might not otherwise engage in. But I truly believe that we as people share these differences. It's in the getting to know others stage that the differences seek out similarities.

No two people are alike, but I'm sure no two people are all that different when it comes down to being human. I like that.

community.

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December 7: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

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2010: Dabbled in many communities. Volleyball. Yoga. Work. Library. Publishing. Running. Hip-hop. Bookmobile. Volunteer. Neighborhood.

2011: I hope to join the permanently employed, holding one job instead of three community. Then I'll think about adding to my above list.

make.

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Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

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Funny enough, the last thing I made was popcorn garland for my tree. While it might not seem like much, it definitely takes up time. I enjoyed the time though sewing popcorn on a piece of thread. It must be cathartic, the repetetive motion. Maybe that's why I enjoy knitting as well.

There are many things I would like to make, but they all need time cleared for them. But isn't that part of the fun? Making time for doing something you love.

let go.

REVERB10. You know the drill.

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Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

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I just spent the entire day at my boyfriend's grandfather's wake. To same I'm drained would be an understatement. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just tired. So to think of what I've let go throughout the year is tough at the moment since I just watched a family let go of someone they hold dear to their heart. Death is a part of life. We all understand this, but it doesn't make life easier, does it?

I've let go of past loves, past resentments. Self criticism and self doubt. I think in order to evolve it's necessary to let go of parts of your life. I don't think that means they're gone though. I think it just means they left a painful place in your heart and moved into a more understanding room.

Letting go is damn hard. But I believe I do it for a reason. Do you?

wonder.

REVERB10. I'm doing it. Are you?

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December 4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeff Davis)

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I wonder about everything. Always have. I wonder about where I'm going and what I'm doing. I wonder about how my life would be different if I was born to a different family. I wonder why I love cheese so much. I wonder when I will travel again. I wonder what the point of it all is. I wonder where my life is going to take me and where I'm going to take myself.

Wonder in my life is endless. I think the best way for me to develop it is to never stop wondering.

As Anne Lamott once said, (and I think this relates to EVERYTHING), Certainty is missing the point entirely.

I couldn't say it better myself.

LOVE.

REVERB10. I'm doing it. Are you?

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December third: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

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LOVE.

Who would think the moment I felt most alive was one where I was sitting down in a theater. But it's true. The emotions were overwhelming.

I went to Las Vegas with my mom and sister in July of this year. During our long weekend we went to see Cirque du Soleil's production of the Beatles: LOVE. The entire show was amazing. (I'm quite biased when it comes to Cirque shows because they hold a special place in my heart.)

Back to the moment. It wasn't the moment it started. It was probably about a minute or two into it. The theater was dark, and I was sitting next to my mom. The anticipation was palpable. A slowly building crescendo of string instruments greeted the audience for awhile and then BAM!

Brightly colored confetti filled the air. The exuberant energy from the audience. The performers dangling from the ceiling. The audible exclamations at what we were seeing. I'll never forget it. The absolute structured chaos in front of me filled me with one of the most alive feelings I've ever felt.

A couple of days ago, PBS was raising money by showing clips of different Cirque shows. I happened to catch the performances from LOVE, and a similar moment happened all over again, except this time I cried. I don't exactly know why this show fills me with so much emotion. I know it has to do with the timeless music and lyrics of the Beatles paired with the unbelievable creativity of a company.

But the closest I can come to explaining it is when I am in the presence of creativity and beauty, I feel alive.

Writing.

I'm participating in REVERB10 Reflect on this year & manifest what's next with a love of winding through life with an open mind and an open heart. I've still to figure out my true relationship with my blog, but as in any part of life, it's a learning process. And I love to learn.

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December second: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

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If you take a look at my 2009 blog posts vs. my 2010 blog posts, you'll notice that 2010 lacked writing. To say that there was something I did each day that didn't contribute to it would be an understatement.

As I've previously mentioned, I've struggled this year with figuring out my relationship with my blog. I love the relationships I've gained from it, as well as insight into my own life, but I also love staying away from technology. Believe me. It's a struggle. I love the opportunities it presents, but I hate aspects of it. (But that's something to go into on another day.) This struggle alone has kept me from writing publicly.

Believe me, I'm not naive. I know I can write in other forms, down other avenues. And that's partly why I find this prompt so timely. I have been feeling the itch to write (and maybe reverb10 is just the kick in the butt I need,) but what's even more interesting is that lately I've been thinking more and more about journaling and writing down memories and feelings, places and people that make me stop and think twice about what this so called life (I couldn't resist) means to me. What's kept me from actually doing it? Well, myself, of course. I haven't taken the time. Simple as that.

A little over ten years ago, I kept a gratitude journal. Every day I'd write down 5 things I was thankful for in my life. I've been thinking about doing this again, slowing down to see the big picture.

I think I have a good start.

Change.

I'm participating in REVERB10: Reflect on this year & manifest what's next with a love of winding through life with an open mind and an open heart. I've still to figure out my true relationship with my blog, but as in any part of life, it's a learning process. And I love to learn.

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December first - One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

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Change. There is always a lot of it, isn't there? This year I began a library temp job in January while working two other part-time jobs in my field of librarianship. To say it's been easy would be wrong. To say I've been grateful for it is right on point. During this transitional period, I'm finally beginning to see how transition is the one constant in life. It's always going to be changing. If I could wish for one thing in this present moment, it'd be stability, but what is that exactly? Is it a feeling? Because nothing is definite. That is a scary thought, but quite exciting one at that.

Looking forward, I'm choosing present as my 2011 word. I've recently been thinking more about the passage of time and how it relates to where I'll be in different parts of my life, but I'm striving to calm those fears with enjoying the day, the moment, the little things, as they say. Because no one really knows what lies ahead. I'm reminded of that daily.